The Lockemup Shrike (Blondi sinistra) originally hails from the humid swamplands of northern Florida. Despite her decorative appearance, she is a ruthless predator, striking fear in the hearts of her prospective quarry. Her job is to procure an endless supply of fresh meat and other bounty for her boss, the Orange Julius Caesar (q.v.) The Shrike encourages foreign royalty to shower him with $400 million magic carpets and similar lavish gifts. Working along with her associates The Three Disgraces (q.v.), she facilitates the disappearances of those deemed threatening or undesirable to the regime, while also neutralizing any persons (such as judges) seen as opposing or hindering the edicts of the Caesar himself. Due to her petite size and weak talons, she relies on impaling her still-living prey on thorns or barbed wire and watching them writhe, twitch and expel their bodily fluids before presenting them to her Dear Leader to be finished off. Some call this “justice.” We prefer to call it a bloodbath.
PRICELESS! Are you doing the accompanying drawings? This one is *chef's kiss* I will never hear her name again without thinking of the dear shrike.